:: Captain's Personal Blog ::

Stardate: Thursday, June 27, 2002

"I pledge allegiance to the flag..."

Well, actually, I generally don't. I like being a citizen of this country, but I do not profess my love or allegiance on a daily basis. I don't see the need. I don't know many other people that do either. This doesn't make us bad people. Just not overly patriotic. AGAIN, let me say that I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of EVER committing any acts against this country.

Back to the point. "One Nation, Under God...." What is the point there? Clearly when the US was formed, there was a serious division made between church and state. Never the two shall meet. The fact of the matter is that this (like many other things that are screwed up in the world) is just a silly mistake that was made by some narrowminded individuals. What is more offensive, saying it or not saying it? In my mind, saying it is, because it speaks for the millions of people who may not feel that way. Whereas not saying it says nothing at all.

Does saying that we are a nation under God give us some Divine power? Does it mean that if we screw up, that means that God will be behind us? Hell no. Wrong is wrong and that's all there is to it. This is yet another symptom of what is wrong with society. We aren't a nation under God. We are a WORLD under God. Why can't these knuckleheads see that. Aside from putting forth the statement that God indeed exists and that we are a nation under Him, we are also saying that we are just a NATION under him. To Hell with everyone else. What kind of message is that?

Now here's the kicker. Let's say you disagree with that last statement. Let's say that you don't think that what we are implying is that we are important to God and no one else is. Why would you say that? Is it because it isn't implicitly said in the Pledge? Funny. If you remove the "under God" part, what's the difference? How does it's removal mean that we are denying His existence, or even showing disrespect?

Most importantly, since it was never a part of the Pledge originally (added in 1954) what's the big deal? Rather than deem it illegal to say the pledge, why not excise those two words? What's the harm?

And would someone please tell me what is wrong with seeing the Human Race as being a whole? If you want to divide everyone up based on where the live or the color of their skin for classification purposes or historical preservation, fine. But for the benefit of our very existence we are ONE PEOPLE. Under God, Under Vishnu, Under Jesus, Under Allah, Under Buddah, Under the Sun, Under whatever. A difference in Religious beliefs does not change that fact.
:: J 10:57 AM [+] ::
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Wow! I guess when it rains, it pours......
:: J 10:11 AM [+] ::
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Today's Excite Fortune:
"Those voices you hear make sense."

Heaven help me if that's true........

Just kidding. They're nice voices.
:: J 10:08 AM [+] ::
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What the heck happened yesterday?

OK, so I got off on a bit of a rant or two yesterday. That was very unlike me. Actually, I generally don't have very strong feelings about religion or God. Maybe just the whole terrorist, dirty bomb thing just kinda got to me. It drives me nuts to see people acting stupidly.

I like to believe that in the distant future, the human race will still thrive, and not in that Eloi/Morlock kinda way, or even in a Battlefield Earth (blecch) kind of way. I want to believe that we will prosper in the future. I guess I just get frustrated when, as a society, we don't live up to our potential. We can be a great people, if we wished to be.
:: J 8:47 AM [+] ::
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A note about prophecies:

It must have been prophetic for me to find this website,
Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Sunrise over Manhattan), because it fits right in with my remarks earlier regarding religion. I admit that the photograph is quite awesome. However, whether or not it is a sign from God is another matter entirely.

Back to Rule #1, if God (who of course, as a proponent of Free Will, would not interfere) were to give a sign that something big was going to happen to the towers, wouldn't he have picked something a bit less dependent on chance? This is not to say that divine interventions are subject to random chance, but let's look at this from a rational point of view. If YOU wanted to tell someone something, indirectly, wouldn't you at least want to make sure that they saw it? Imagine God wants you to know about the towers collapsing. What would the thought process be there? "Hmmm. I know! Let me get the sun to shine through the towers (like it does every day) except today I shall turn down the sharpness on the sun and raise the brightness levels a bit. NOW they'll see this bright, shiney sun through the towers and will immediately think that the towers may one day get knocked down by a bunch of terrorists in jumbo jet-liners!"

Let's give God a little more credit than that, hm? If it were me, and I saw that? I would probably have just marveled at the beauty that God had set before me and not that he was trying to tell me something. By that line of thinking, the next time you see a really beautiful sunset, just think it's a sign from God that the sky is about to fall.

Sheesh.

By the way, none of this is meant to offend. If it makes you feel better, remind yourself that I really am not a religious nor a pious person. I am not a religious scholar. I am just a resident of this planet. You don't have to be a genius to figure out that something is wrong with the place. Personally, I think that all of this misunderstanding on the subject of religion is a major part of the problem. If we could all just live our lives and leave God out of it, we could probably be happier. God does not want the responsibility of keeping is in line. Otherwise he would not have given us Free Will. All we have to remember is that there may be a reckoning one day. The rest is garbage.

Religious rules are around to just keep us civil. The underlying rule is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. "Thou shalt not kill." Why? Because I wouldn't want someone to kill me, so I'd better make killing against the law. "Thou shalt not steal." Same deal. Let's face it. Of course these things are wrong to do. We all know that. Some people, regardless of whether something is right or wrong, will do what they want to do anyway. Religious laws and the laws of man are put in place to disuade people. That's all.

I am not saying that society is bad, or that ANY country in the world should be in any way harmed. I'm not one of those manifesto-y fanatics who secretly plans to overthrow the government. I'm just one guy who wants to express his opinion. Not by hurting anyone, not by damaging anything, just by speaking. Hell, I'm not even saying I'm right. I just think the whole thing makes more sense from this perspective.
:: J 1:24 PM [+] ::
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The World We Live In:

Let it finally be said, "I don't understand religion!" Well, I think I DO understand it, but if I do, then I don't think anyone else does. Let me make a few more sweeping statements:

1) There is no such thing as a true Atheist, only people who do not think they believe in God. I believe that when push comes to shove, and when faced with death, this person WILL believe in God. Just not subscribe to any particular faith.

2) I do not subscribe to any particular faith (AH-HA!!) Nor do I pray. I don't read the Bible and I don't attend religious observances. I was born Jewish, and I did have a Bar Mitzvah.

3) Near as I can tell, There is no one TRUE religion

4) Religions are not bad, they are only screwed up by the people who follow them.

So, with that in mind, it is time for me to climb my soapbox and discuss this delicate matter. I really hope not to offend anyone, because I believe that in it's own way, my message can be even more beautiful than those that already exist.

God is omnipotent. Most religions seem to believe this. I believe this is the only absolute and constant.

Now, if we agree on this, everything else falls into place.

Every man, woman and child on this planet (from here on in shortened to Man) inherently knows right from wrong. It's instinctual. That, and as free well, are God's two greatest gifts to us. From there on in, we are all captains of our own destinies. Man did not create religions to show people what is right and what is wrong. Man created religions to put their own spin on popular perspective. Notice how religious stances on more recent popular debate topics have shifted in recent centuries, encompassing the topics of homosexuality, science and even modern conveniences like electricity. Religions change with the times.

Let me add to that: Remember rule #1 - God is omnipotent. Bearing this in mind, why would God create this entire planet, fill it with miracles and wonders to astound, and yet choose a very small section of dirt and call it HOLY LAND. I don't believe that any land on this planet is more holy than any other. It can all be perceived as a miracle, and should be by those who inhabit it.

Going back to Rule #1 again, There is no need for physical pennance or prayer. God knows your thoughts. God knows what is in your heart. If you truly feel regret for a sin or a crime, God will know it. Fooling human courts and even convincing yourself of that for the rest of your life will not help you if it isn't true. God will know that. Praising God and thanking him for the marvel which is life is just as effective, if not more so, in your heart than it is out loud in a congregation. What makes a land holy? God's will. I like to think that the Earth is a Holy Land, as much as the rest of creation.

Under what circumstances would a God who says "Thou Shalt Not Kill" say "Not only can you kill yourself, but you can only do it if you kill those around you"? Why would God condone slaughter in his name, if he says that it is not allowed?

As many great men have said, time is short. We are but a footnote in the annals of history. Would a God, who chooses that we spend such a short time here, want us to spend the whole time fighting? Killing? We don't all have to agree with eachother. That's what Free Will is all about. The right to choose. It's an inalienable human right.

We all instinctually know that there is a higher being at work. We will just choose to believe whatever gets us through the night. If knowing the right religion were truly that important, God would come down and prove it Himself. The fact is that getting it right is not important. Living the underlying message is. Be good to eachother. Live as one people -- Not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or any other. Live as human beings. Live as creatures of God. Whether you believe in him or not, you at least know that you are the same as the person sitting next to you. As the other 6 billion people on this planet. Live that way.

I may not be the most educated person in the world, especially when it comes to religions. In the long run, I doubt that it's all that important, so long as I live my life believing in my fellow man.

(gets down off his soapbox)
:: J 11:17 AM [+] ::
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A Word About Human Emotionalism:

You know, right now I am in a bit of a familial pickle at home. The big "D" word has been mentioned. That's right. It was thrown down like a gauntlet. Divorce.

The funny thing is that in the long run, I really don't mind one way or the other. My parents really haven't been having what would be called the ideal homelife in ages. Lately, I think that our financial situation as well as certain broader familial obligations have led to our decline as a family. The fact of the matter is that I really just want everyone to be happy. The separation of my parents really can't affect me in the long run because I am at the age where I should be moving out soon. When that eventually happens, whether I visit or call, it would be akin to whoever not being home at the time.

With all of that in mind, the question is "Why am I in a pickle then, if this does not really affect me?" The answer is that it really doesn't affect me directly, it affects me peripherally.

Follow:

My father may get even more depressed by this turn of events, which brings his mood (understandably so) down. As he is fond of pointing out, that sort of environment can rub off on all around, i.e. me. My mother feels as though everyone is out to get her, and therefore comes to me for advice, which I can not provide. This really isn't something that I can give good advice about. There is probably so much information that I don't know, and it would hard to sound objective. Whoever I would think was wrong would think that I was just taking sides. Believe me, my family (or certain members thereof) can be THAT paranoid.

To wit; Friday night my mother had to pick me up at the train station as that my car was temporarily out of commission. She picks me up and for the most part we have an amicable ride. Six blocks from our house, she goes into hysterics, crying about all that is happening. As I have grown accustomed to remaining neutral, I stay quiet and listen. I don't comment, because that would serve no useful purpose.

Anyway, we get to the house where she continues to cry and tell me how proud she is of me. A tearful moment and heartfelt to be sure. Only something very strange happens. All of a sudden, she stops crying and everything is normal, as we are about to enter the house. I mean EVERYTHING! I don't know anyone who can downshift that quickly from being in hysterics.

I know that when I am crying (legitimately) it is almost impossible to just stop. I can slow it down and calm myself down, but it is NEVER like a lightswitch. I don't know anyone who can do it unless they really weren't crying in the first place. Everyone knows that when someone is crying, it does no good to just say "Stop Crying" because it doesn't work that way. There are two ways to stop someone from crying. 1) Make them feel better, or 2) Let it die out. This was neither. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that upon realizing that the tears were not making me cry or sympathize, she just stopped. I don't want to think that way, but believe me when I say that my CON-o-meter was in full swing.

I have tried all of my life to be practical about the emotional points in my life. For the most part, it works. Girlfriends, friendships, family, all of it. Granted, from the perspective of those who share my life, it isn't all that great, but I can't let that get to me. I can't possibly stand the thought of letting all of my decisions be made without forethought. Life is too short to risk screwing it up because I didn't bother to think things through. Hell, if I was truly impulsive, I would probably have married my first girlfriend (we dated for 2.5 years) and would probably be miserable. LET ME STRESS: the miserable part would not have been her fault, it would have been mine. The thing that would have made me the most miserable would have been getting married before I was ready. If I was married right now, I would have no money and I would probably (knowing my luck) have kids. Of course I think I want to have kids SOME DAY, but the point would be that I would not have been ready.

I suppose I wasted the impulsive part of my life by being practical even in my adolesence. Do I regret that? No. I can't regret something that I don't know. And THAT is what I regret. Not knowing.

Confusing? Welcome to my psyche. Try this on for size: I act like a kid. I never want to grow up. And yet.....I refuse to be fully impulsive, and sometimes I am the oldest person I know. Go figure.......

OK. So that was more than just a word, and I strayed a bit from the subject of HUMAN emotionalism. As a friend of mine once pointed out, titling these things can be a bit difficult.
:: J 8:50 AM [+] ::
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Excite Quote of the Day:
"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!"
- Mother Teresa

:: J 8:22 AM [+] ::
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You know, I have to say I am definitely lucky for the friends I have though. They understand me to the extent where they don't terrorize me or hate me for not keeping a super-steady correspondence.

I just explained a theory of mine to a co-worker, in an effort to possibly explain why one of her friends was "slighting" her. The theory is as follows:

Relationship Backlash
"Essentially, it's where someone's life has a fundamental problem, usually somewhere in the social area. They need to deal with it somehow. First they talk about it, but afterwards they need to sort it out themselves. Specifically when someone lives at home, they really aren't given the opportunity to do that properly. The backlash comes when a person is surrounded by so many people who care (friends and family,) but not enough time by themselves to think it through and move on. Essentially, if someone does not feel solitude, they can't crave companionship."

While I do not hold it against her, the response was that she felt she was being treated unfairly. This is a standard response that I would expect from almost anyone. The fact of the matter is that many people feel that part of being a friend is being in constant contact with someone.

You are left the demoralizing rule, however, that you can not blow off a friend simply because you don't feel like doing anything, for fear of offending or even jeopardizing the relationship. So you wind up employing what is classically known as "The Runaround." This, when identified, helps even less. You're essentially stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unless, that is, you have a friend who is understanding of when you just don't want to hear from anyone. This is what separates the Fair Weather Friends from the Foul Weather Friends. The cool thing about the ideal Foul Weather Friend is that he/she knows when to back down and just let things go. The cool thing about the ideal FRIEND is that he/she will let their friend have solitude for as long as it takes, and will still be there when the person comes back.

Of course, you can't let someone walk all over you and call them friend, but just remember that everyone has times where they just want to be alone. It can be as brief as a moment, or as long as weeks (compounded terribly, if you live at home.)

Thus endeth today's diatribe.......I think

:: J 11:51 AM [+] ::
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I wonder what it means when I haven't felt like blogging in awhile. I think it's probably an offshoot of what I have been feeling for a while now. I like blogging. I like the idea of having a journal of my own thoughts for no one other than for myself. A constant reminder of who I was, who I am and who I hope to be.

Lately, I have been so caught up in living my life, though, that I haven't had much time to document it. The sad fact of the matter is that living my life isn't so interesting that documenting it is strictly necessary. And therein lies the problem. I know that for now my life isn't much to speak about. Big whoop. The fact is that I still live at home and for as long as this is the case, my life can't be that interesting since I am not living it solely for myself. As long as I am home, I am constrained to live within the boundaries set by my parents. In addition, without having solitude, one can not crave companionship. And therein lies my other problem. Between work and home, I am constantly surrounded by people. Not a conducive environment to try to grow a social life.

I keep hoping that things will get better in that arena, but I realize that that is a dead end until I move out. I know that people who make less and have less that I have already chosen to do so. I have not. I don't regret that decision as much as I just want to get to the point where I am financially secure enough to leave this shelter behind. I have a feeling that once that happens, there is no turning back. Especially in this economic climate.

I'll play it safe for now. If only for a while longer. It's a sobering thought that I am as old as my parents were when they married (little feat considering they married at 24 & 25.) I am CERTAINLY not ready for that, but getting a "bachelor pad" would really be nice. Then again, to afford things, I am really in the wrong business. I know people working temp jobs who make more than I do.

I just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope that my payoff will come soon. I am trying everything I can to make it happen, but given this business, a little luck couldn't hurt either.

At least the weather is nice. Sun can make it all better.
:: J 11:11 AM [+] ::
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