:: Captain's Personal Blog ::

Stardate: Thursday, January 31, 2002

Why is it that I feel the need to be protective of other people that I work with? My boss says that I am an enabler. He's not the only one who has used that term, but usually it refers to my doling out of chocolate. Tonight, he meant something different.

Tonight I was asked to help cut tape for our DAILY BUSINESS SHOW. I said that I would. I was supposed to help from 3pm - 4pm, and then at 4 I was supposed to start getting mywork together so I could do it at 5. The problem was that I couldn't leave at 4 a planned.

The girl who I was helping was definitely in over her head and couldn't have finished on time. If I had left when I was supposed to, she would have crashed and then she would have gotten in trouble for not getting the work done. The only problem is that it wouldn't have been her fault. I felt that I couldn't let that happen, so I stayed.

Was that wrong? I know she has to fight her own battles, and that I shouldn't feel responsible for her, but God help me, I would want someone to help me. It's not fair. I know that life isn't fair, but that shouldn't stop us from trying to make it that way. How could I, in good conscience, leave someone to just get in trouble if I can do something about it? Granted, I was pushed behind in my work and couldn't get the help that I needed, but that wasn't her fault. The work that I was asked to do didn't exist. The only thing that would have happened had I left on schedule was that I would have been able to ask my producers what to do. Unfortunately, they left early, so I couldn't ask.

So, I spoke to my boss about it, and he seems OK with the whole thing. Except he seems a bit disappointed in my decision to stay and help. I know it wasn't my responsibility, but what could I do? I think I would have been very disappointed in myself if I had left. *sigh* Some times these moral quandries can drive you insane. Ah well.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! Big show day. I know I haven't explained EXACTLY what it is I do yet, but I'm sure people who may or may not have been reading are coming to their own conclusions. I'll fill in the blanks soon. Just not up to it yet.
:: J 6:19 PM [+] ::
...

Leave it to John Williams to make all the world melt away and replace it with warm, musical goodness.
:: J 3:16 PM [+] ::
...

You know, this morning I finally vented on a subject that has been bothering me for a while. I suppose it all started when I realized (a while ago) that our President can not say the word "Nuclear." It is pronounced "noo-clee-er." Our esteemed Commander-In-Chief insists on pronouncing the wonderful word "nuke-youler." It drives me nuts.

Next:

There is a piece of furniture in your room. It is tall and has many things that slide in and out for you to put stuff in. What are they?
ANSWER? A dresser and a drawer. D-R-A-W-E-R!!!! I have encountered people who drop the "er" off the end and say (and SPELL) "Draw." It is not a draw, it is a drawer! A draw is when two people are tied and therefore have to end the game!

Finally:

Using sayings without knowing what they mean. As the wonderful business host Neil Cavuto once said "Don't invest in a stock unless you can say what the company does in one sentence." Well, don't use a phrase unless you know what it means. Case in point. The other day someone told me that a situation was "par for the core."

I did a double take. What kind of sense does that make? What is it supposed to mean. The phrase is "par for the course." It's a golf expression which refers both to the actual course that they play on as well as the term "par" which means the average score for that course. *sigh* I generally don't get snobby over this sort of thing, but sometimes I just get annoyed with how the english language is breaking down. I think I need to relax more. Maybe take some time off.
:: J 11:36 AM [+] ::
...

I think that girl who I was in the elevator with wants to rope me into a lawsuit against the company. I was finally able to see her today to ask how she was doing. I had been concerned since Thursday, especially since she was not in Friday.

When I got down there, I got to talk to her. She was on crutches. Her foot was bandaged up and she was in less than cheery spirits. She quickly informed me that she was afraid that she would never find me and asked if she could have my name and phone number. I really didn't want to get into anything (after all, that's not what I was there for) so I gave her my name and WORK phone number. Then we parted company. As she left, she told me that someone might be calling me.

I considered this on the way up to my desk. I figure she is probably going to have some lawyer call me and set up some sort of deposition thing. If that's the case, she can forget it. I have no desire to involve myself in that sort of thing. There is not a jury in the world that would believe her deserving of any substantial award. I don't think she would sue over medical bills, because she wouldn't need me for that.

She took the elevator today many times, so I assume there is little-to-no emotional distress involved. She made it to work, so I assume there is no brain trauma, per se. I don't mean to sound calloused, it's just that I can't stand greed in it's purest form. I mean, really. She even remembered that the elevator was moving when she jumped out. WHO JUMPS OUT OF A MOVING ELEVATOR?!?!

The whole thing just has me bugged. I feel in my heart that I am right in wanting to stay out of this. And that's all there is too it. Right?
:: J 2:17 PM [+] ::
...

This is a copy of the exhaustive text which I sent to Mr. Altman. I suppose I was a bit out of line. Or was I?

Mr. Altman,

Let me first say that I am a big fan of FREE ENTERPRISE. I thought it was a very funny film with a good lesson to it. As a fan of Star Trek and a certain amount of Pop Cultural Sci-Fi, I appreciated the film on a great many levels. I don't quite get the opportunity to read Cinescape very much, but when I do I am always interested in your articles. A particular assertion you made has stayed with me. You remarked something to the effect that you are so tough on the Star Trek series' because you are a fan and need to be critical in order to maintain quality. If I misinterpreted, I am sorry, but it seems perfectly reasonable to me anyway. Please correct me if I am wrong.

With that said, I would like to address your recent article regarding ENTERPRISE. Let me first say that despite many attempts at alienation by Rick Berman and those working on the show, I watched it anyway. What alienation am I referring to? The one in which Rick Berman and co. stated that they would more or less be ignoring the original series and creating this as a backstory for The Next Generation and all that followed.

Am I wrong in sensing alienation at this? As a fan of STAR TREK is it not extremely confrontational to try to contradict all of that? The STAR TREK films (I-VI) more or less kept a certain amount of continuity. Even to the bell-bottomish pants of the original series. The pants in the films kept a baggyish quality to the bottom which seemed like a natural progression. The communicators, phasers, tricorders, insignia, uniforms, starships, etc., all (for the most part) kept a continuous look that lent to the credibilty of the productions. (Exceptions being the props from The Motion Picture.)

Is continuity the absolute of STAR TREK? Of course not. The Original Series contradicted itself more often than anyone can remember. How many agencies did they work for? The United Earth Space Probe Agency? The United Federation of Planets? How long did we finally settle? How many crew members aboard the Enterprise? Chekov met Khan when? The Shuttlecraft couldn't pick up Sulu and co. on the planet in The Enemy Within for what reason? For the most part, one could come up with semi-reasonable canon-based explanations for this stuff (I mostly have) but instead it was just ignored.

Continuity with the original show seemed less important in the shows that ensued. Paris and Tuvok show up at the Griffith Observatory in the late '90s. In one of the scenes there is a DY-100 class ship sitting on one of the desks, which is a nice touch. However, there did not seem to be any indication of the Eugenics Wars that Khan was a member of. After all, he escaped in 1996 at the height of the war. Also, do I have to go into Zephram Cochrane? Whatever happened to Zephram Cochrane of Alpha Centauri (as reffered to in the episode METAMORPHOSIS?) It's this last sleight of continuity that begins the myriad of problems with ENTERPRISE.

My dad once made a criticism of the film version of LOST IN SPACE. He asked why they found it necessary to redesign the Robot. His point was a simple one. Does a robot exist today that can do the things that it can do? No. Does the technology even remotely exist? Barely. Therefore, what's the point? There really isn't a NEED to redesign it, just a want. I can understand the want, and so could he, we just agreed that it wasn't necessary.

ENTERPRISE is the same way. They had to make the communicators smaller because we have cellphones that are smaller than the original communicators? That's bull. After all, can we call up to the moon on our cellphones? No. I have a hard enough time getting a signal in my office building, let alone one that reaches to the moon, or beyond. And look how many satellites that takes? Forget that. Forget all of it, how about this: Doesn't Earth get into the Eugenics War and/or World War III? One would wonder if a global catastrophe like that wouldn't set us back a little bit technologically. And that those setbacks could also account for why things aren't as small as we would believe them to be, as well as a change in aesthetic style.

We have "Phase Pistols?" Is that supposed to be a nod to phasers? They had Lasers on the series before phasers. Again, until we have a portable laser unit that can do the things that it did on the show, there is no reason to replace the old stuff.

And what about the ship itself? Was the original Enterprise (and other like ships of the time) the ONLY ones in Starfleet history to not have blue neon on the sides of it's engines? And the only ones not to have visible deck-plating?

In the Original series, Vulcans and Humans were equals. How does that happen if the Vulcans started out so much more advanced than we are? How could we ever be equals? If you want to talk about relations, who is ever friends with someone who is so terribly condescending all the time? I know I wouldn't be. It makes you wonder how Spock was EVER accepted.

If I haven't lost you yet, let me now get to the whole point of this letter. I'm actually surprised that you liked ENTERPRISE. It seems to me that all the things that were good about the original show have been lost along the way.

I contest the assertion that there was no conflict on the original show. Kirk must have yelled at McCoy more than a few times. Spock and McCoy did go at it a few times at well (in addition to their frequent banter.) The thing that throws everyone is that these people are actually friends. Between the performances and writing this came across very strongly. STAR TREK II, III, & IV, were emotional films because they demonstrated the cameraderie of these people. The way the care for each other and would sacrifice anything for each other. STAR TREK IV was also poignant because of the return of the Enterprise. The fans demanded it! After 1701-D was destroyed there was no tremendous cry for them to return the ship.

Again, I am straying. As that this is an e-mail, I could simply edit that out, but I won't because it is another point that I am trying to make.

For a man who claims he liked the show, I did read quite a bit of criticism in your article. About how Archer is like Uhura in that he mostly sits on the Bridge communicating with what is going on. About how the teasers are not really constructed to bring the audience begging for more. The fact that ENTERPRISE (when did we drop the "The" before Enterprise, anyhow?) investigates things not out of a sense of heroism but because they just feel like going there to check out what's what.

These are important things. As you know, I also believe in bowing your head to what came first. I don't think that Fonts and little color bars on the uniforms is enough. I've counted a few nods. T'Pol's viewing station, the actual SLIDES on the Transporter controls, the flip-open top of the communicator (which seems to flip open automatically at the press of a button?) and what else? Could this ever progress into STAR TREK? Admittedly by the producers, no. And that's the problem. Maybe taking STAR TREK out of the title was not because they wanted to prevent comparison, but more because they never meant for it to be STAR TREK. After all this time, I am left to wonder if these people are simply lazy. They are using established continuity so they don't have to build their own foundation. Why does this have to be STAR TREK?

The fans know what they want. They asked for The Adventures of Captain Sulu because they wanted STAR TREK to be what it once was. Not the skewed version it is today. DS9's TRIALS AND TRIBBLEATIONS was a bone. It was the bone that they threw to the fans, giving them what they wanted. Why couldn't they have stayed with it? Couldn't ENTERPRISE have been the adventures of Captain Robert April on NCC-1701? The First Adventures of the Starship Enterprise? Sets that evoked a strong sense of familiarity, but with subtle differences? A ship that is quite familiar, but still in it's infancy? Uniforms almost, but not quite what we know? Technology that is almost there, but still working out kinks? (Remember the Transporter initially needed TWO operators?) Would it have been so bad? Would it have even hurt to have the last episode of THAT series show Captain April handing command over to Captain Christopher Pike and a young Mr. Spock (after all, they did serve together for 11 years before Kirk came along.) Wouldn't the fans have been happier?

I've noticed lately that STAR TREK has none of the power it once had. Names like DC Fontana (who had her start with Star Trek,) Theodore Sturgeon, and Harlan Ellison would do work for Star Trek. They were some of the most acclaimed in the field of Sci-Fi. With The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine (TWO STAR TREK Shows) on the air, where were they? DC Fontana and Harlan Ellison were working for the little engine that could, otherwise known as Babylon 5. Is it any wonder that they will have nothing to do with STAR TREK? What does it mean?

I can't even agree with the argument that there are no more stories to tell. How many years have Star Trek novels, comics, etc. been printed? I know they aren't all winners, but they don't all stink either. STAR TREK isn't dying of old age. It's being assassinated.

My last point before I mercifully end this is back to continuity. Michael Okuda and company went about the task of creating many substantial texts for the STAR TREK universe. Not the least of which being the CHRONOLOGY and the OMNIPEDIA. My question is thus: If you are going to take the time to fill these substantial texts with facts of canon, why would you go about creating films and shows which contradict the WRITTEN RECORD of what has come before it? Is this not the ultimate of revisionist history? I suppose it would be easier to understand if people were just doing this from memory, but I can't believe that with all of these written accounts of what has happened before, they still can't get it right.

I suppose that in the final analysis this e-mail was more about my disgust towards ENTERPRISE than your article directly. My intention was to tell you that I can't understand why you, of all people (the gatekeeper,) can like it so much. You are, of course, entitled to your opinions. I am just hoping that if you could explain it to me, maybe I might be able to accept it. If you've made it to the end of this e-mail, I thank you for your patience, and for taking this little journey with me.

Thank you,




:: J 12:08 PM [+] ::
...

Dear Lord, how low have I sunk.

I just wrote a 3 page e-mail to the "Trekspert" Robert Altman about his review of ENTERPRISE. I have always prided myself of not being the sort of fan who would obsess about those things. Is it obsessive to demand quality control in one's entertainment, though? I AM a Superman fan and yet I don't find myself having loads of gripes over Smallville. Heck, I even defend the show. So, where does that leave me in the annals of fandom.

I suppose I should remember that "fan" is really short for FANATIC. I suppose I should really re-evaluate what I am and am not fanatical about.
:: J 11:01 AM [+] ::
...

WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER WEEK!

Actually, it's amazing. I feel great! It's not that I did anything truly earth-shattering this weekend, I JUST FEEL WONDERFUL!

I suppose it's because of the sun and the (semi) warmth of the day. For January 28th, you really don't expect it to be a high of 64 degrees, but I will take it where I can get it. I love the sun and I love warmth. I think those two elements are conspiring to make me feel great today. This is DEFINITELY not a bad thing.

I even have a new outlook on last week, although I think I would have gotten here anyway. I think I just needed a break from all the stress of last week (or, more to the point, the end of last week.) There is something to be said for freaking out in a panic situation. At least you have an emotional catharsis of some kind. While being stoic and calm, I do believe that there was still some part of me that was TRULY frightened and needed a release that wasn't going to come. After that, I think it's possible that I had all this pent-up aggression that needed to get out, and I wouldn't let it. As a result, I had a short fuse and very little tolerance for much by the end of the week.

Continuing on that, all I needed was to relax and be left alone for a while. After that, all the cares in the world could melt away and I could function again. Now, thanks to the weather, I am in prime position to tackle the new week. Who knows how long this will last, however, since according to the ever-so-popular Dave Price (weatherman of FOX 5's Good Day New York) it is supposed to be in the 50's all week BUT it will rain until Saturday, when it will be 39 degrees. *sigh* I suppose if I dwell on that too long I'll start in again on how I just can't win, but for now I will take the little victories where I can get them.
:: J 8:31 AM [+] ::
...

You know that saying about the traits that you hate most about others being the most prevalent in yourself? Well, I certainly to believe it. Especially after today.

Things have been boilng to a head between myself and one of the producers that I work with. He's a nice guy, for the most part, but I always feel like he is lecturing me, and now I know why. He's verbose. No, he's not just verbose, he's VERY VERBOSE. As anyone who may or may not be reading this may have noticed, I am a verbose person as well. The difference is that my verbosity just barely pushes the limits of people's tolerance for verbosity. He, on the other hand, well surpasses me.

That and he is a superperfectionist. In a way that I could never be. I like things my way, but am certainly willing to consider other options and take the path of REASONABLE resistance depending on situational considerations (VERBOSITY in action.) He, on the other hand, will want it his way no matter what. If, when he sees it, it is not good, it must be your fault for not doing it right, so now we must try something different. It's really hard to put into words, I suppose.

The fact of the matter is this: Being a human being (or at least living with them) I recognize my own faults and am tolerant with those of others. To a point. I am just about out of my tolerance for today and am just really glad that it is almost over. Soon I will get to go home from my 12 hour work day (only on Fridays) and forget about the whole mess for two solid days straight. Wow. What a concept. Home never looked so good. And when you are stressed out and tired, a cold can of Coca-Cola never tasted so good.
:: J 7:06 PM [+] ::
...

You know, it really doesn't matter what happened last night. It's reassuring to know that in a crisis (be it a minor one) I can still remain 3C'd (Calm, Cool, Collected.) That's really all I needed now. I have been pretty secure with my life lately. I work for a major news company. When September 11th (I hate calling it 9/11) happened, I had to stay in Manhattan and at a hotel right outside Times Square. That night, (the eleventh) I was sitting in bed thinking about how I was essentially in the middle of another target.

At first my sense of panic jumped to really high levels. Then, it stopped. It stopped when I came to a realization. I have no regrets. I mean not in the "I'm not ready to go" sense. You see, by most accounts I've had a pretty good life. Sure I never went to Europe, never got a chance to parasail and have no wife or kids. But none of that was because I was putting it off. It was simply beyond my means at the time and therefore out of my hands. It wasn't as though I didn't do it because I thought there would be more time, I just didn't have the ability to do any of these things yet. And, assuming I survived, what then? There was no way to make it all happen the next day, so there wasn't any point in dwelling on it.

The only things that I thought would be bad would be the VERY FEW people who would actually be hurt in the long run by my passing. My family and so forth. But past that, everyone else would move on and it would be OK.

Yesterday I was not scared because I made my peace. It has nothing to do with God or Religion or anything other than the fact that I am thankful for what I have, appreciate it and accept what I can and can not do.

Fatalistic? Maybe. Does that make me an empty person? Could be. But in these times, any port in a storm will do.
:: J 11:22 AM [+] ::
...

Let's hear it for the affirmation that you are still alive!

While this wasn't one of those life-changing, find God, turn your life around, experiences, it certainly was fun.

I was just stuck in the elevator in my building!!! YAY ME! It was a cool story. A girl got on the elevator with me in the lobby. Once the doors closed and we started moving, we could smell smoke. The elevator started jerking up and down and stuttering. It finally stopped just above the 16th floor which was her destination. The doors opened, we were still moving slowly. She jumped out.

The poor girl hit her head on the top of the doorway and landed wrong. Later, I found out that she sprained her ankle. Anyway, the doors closed and I continued up. Then I started down. Then up and then down, jerking all the way. The display was showing all kinds of numbers. The last one I saw before it went out was 20. Finally the car stopped and filled with a fine smoke. I pulled the alarm. I also heard a noise as if a small nut or bolt or something fell onto the top of the car.

Security answered my call, told me to stay calm and called the engineer. Over the intercom I listened to them try all kinds of things, occasionally asking me if the car was moving. Each time, I answered "No."

Finally, the said that the fire department was on it's way and that I was to hold tight, which I did. I found myself surprisingly calm in this situation. Finally the firemen came to get me. They had me bang on the car so they could locate me. When they found me, the asked me to try prying the doors open. I could. Then I pried the outer doors open. There was a security guard and mechanic there to greet me. The helped me out, and told me the scoop.

It seems that the motor to the elevator died. It just burned out, which was what the smoke was from. There was no way the elevator would run again this day. They saidt hat I was lucky that the elevator stopped close to the doors. Anywhere else and they would have had to "pull me out sideways," whatever that means.

This was also when I found out about the poor girl on 16. I hope she's OK. Evidently the fire alarm went off while I was in there, and all my co-workers thought there was something seriously wrong. Heh heh heh.

Anyway, there are many more intricacies to this story, but I am WAY too juiced to go into it now, suffice it to say, I am glad I am here and OK. More on this soon, maybe.
:: J 6:43 PM [+] ::
...

What does the word "freak" really mean and why do people apply it so incredibly often? In the months that I have been in this office, I have heard everyone call other people "freaks," from someone they like to someone they don't like. I mean does being eccentric, unusual, different, funny, serious, or personable make you a freak?

I don't really take offense to it (I've been called a freak by these people more than once,) but I just want to know what it means. Is it one of those words that people use when they don't have anything else to say? Is it a way of ensuring that you are in the majority at all times? SHOULD someone be offended? I don't get it. Luckily, I'm too self-absorbed to ask. I really don't want them to feel put off or self-conscious because I ask. It's too inocuous to make a big deal out of.
:: J 3:28 PM [+] ::
...

I am now issuing a test to the world of RED TAPE. At least as it pertains to the company for which I am employed. I have issued an idea to another department. I got one of your standard e-mails (or maybe not) telling me that my idea is a good one and that it will be given to that person's superior and that they will consider it. All I have to do now is wait. I guess I really don't care if they implement it, as that it's a web-based idea and I know nothing about that stuff. I just want validation that the right people got it and know that I am trying to contribute to the greater good. I sound like such a tool.

The good news is that in the 9+ months I have been working here, I have had few truly negative things to say about things around here. So, I can keep a positive outlook.
:: J 2:52 PM [+] ::
...

You know, sometimes there is nothing better than the simplicity of a Peanut Butter Sandwich.
:: J 12:15 PM [+] ::
...

Anyway, so she is finally leaving him, which is a good thing. I know that it is, and if I had time and a lot of energy I would spell out all 5,218,187 reasons why. As it stands now, I have been writing the entire experience into a multi-chapter story for my friend Cheryl and I am many weeks delinquent. I should really start that up again when I have time. Who knows? Maybe after I'm finished I'll actually get some webspace of my own and post it there.

Actually, on the subject of that, I DO have my own website. members.aol.com/jmr72777/ff.html I just haven't updated the site in about 3 years. I'm not even sure why I leave it up. Maybe one day I will have the time to either get back to it, or just start a new one. Then again, look at how long it took me to start one of these. *sigh* Sometimes life is too short. Except when you're tired.
:: J 2:55 PM [+] ::
...

From my EXCITE page: "Your fortune for today...You are indeed a secret genius!" The hard part about being a secret genius is that no one knows and therefore no one listens.
:: J 2:27 PM [+] ::
...

You know, I will never cease to be amazed at how quickly a day can downshift. I mean, I sort of knew that this was coming, but it's still amazing.

I just spoke to a friend on the phone. She was telling me about the plans for her upcoming divorce. A divorce that should have happened a long time ago, in a marriage that never should have happened. She has always hidden behind a facade of patience. That, supposedly, is why they were still together. Whatever the true reason, she is now calling it quits, and I couldn't be happier for it. Not because we used to go out, but because we are still friends.

More to come later........
:: J 2:24 PM [+] ::
...

Well, this is it. My very first post to my very first BLOG. After seeing those of my friends and just generally enjoying them, I decided it was high time for me to start one of my own. Seems like fun. I hope you'll let me know. There's a lot going on, and I would really like to share it. I've always said that I am an open book. Now we have it in writing. Stuff about me will start pouring out as I go along. The geekdom, the eccentricities and so forth. Self-deprecating humor (as well as the occasional tendency to forget how to spell) is a trademark of mine, although I know the difference between humor and reality.
:: J 8:13 AM [+] ::
...