:: Captain's Personal Blog ::

Stardate: Monday, April 01, 2002

Men, according to my ex-girlfriend:
"You all like to fight for what you don't have to obtain it, then like a child with an old toy, put the object aside until needed or wanted, just to have as conveniently. Only when someone else plays with your toy does it hold importance to you again."

Sheesh. As an avid toy player, I actually have to say that the fact of the matter is that I back away from the toys that I like so as to NOT get sick of them.

Also, I keep thinking of the song "A Secretary Is Not A Toy" from How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. Not that I think of girlfriends as secretaries. Far from it. However, the basic precept is that women are not toys. They are living, thinking beings. They deserve respect. As they should not be downplayed, however, men should not be put on pedestals. The corollary is this: Men expect way too little of their women, and women expect way too much of their men. Men expect women to be around only when they want them to be and women expect men to be around always.

Remember, however, that there are exceptions to every situation, including this one. My personal feeling about a girlfriend (which I have been very public about) is that they have to give me space. When I say something, I mean it. Always. I therefore see no need to constantly have to prove myself. If I say "I love you," I mean it. It's not a phrase to be used capriciously.

Same things with physicality. Being human, I occasionally have urges. However, I do not wish to compromise the integrity of any female that I know. Therefore I will try to stay away from serious physical relations unless I know exactly where we stand. I would hate to find myself either waking up the next day and finding myself in an unwanted relationship as equally as I would hate to wake up and find myself a one night stand. These things are important to me. As important as finding the right person.

And while I put a great deal of stock in finding the right person, I am in no rush. Maybe it's because I still live at home. I haven't had that personal privacy that makes someone search out someone else. That's probably why I want my solitude so much and why I enjoy it. I guess with that in mind, it's a miracle I have any friends at all.

To come full circle, she knew all of that about me from the beginning. Like I said, I am an open book. You have but to read. AND TO ASK. I spew enough information on my own. Just because I stop doesn't mean there isn't more. I'm just tired of doing all the talking. People may find this hard to believe, but I don't spend much time talking about myself. Even when I talk to my friends, I am telling them about the other people I know.

I don't know why I don't talk about myself. Then again, there is my blog......
:: J 9:57 AM [+] ::
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