:: Captain's Personal Blog ::

Stardate: Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Sleep Away Camp

Arguably, not quite the best time of my life. To be honest, while I spent a total of 11 years there, most of them were pretty dismal on the whole. As a camper, there was much that was bad. I was horrible at sports. I wasn't well liked by my peers for this and other reasons (I wasn't cool, I wasn't rude, I didn't like their music, I didn't watch sports, I didn't have the same style in clothes.) I wasn't popular with the guys or the girls. My social peers happened to be counselors, most of which happened to be the foreign ones. I was the forgettable one on campus. 7 years in the background doesn't make for a great time. Makes you wonder why I kept going back.

Skipping two years (because I couldn't stand being a camper there any longer) I came back as a counselor. As a counselor I was like the teenager who everyone flocks to because he has a car. Thanks to some wisdom of the director of the camp, I was essentially put in charge of the newly-built indoor sports arena. It was full of electronic goodies, and my services on that front expanded to the whole A-V front of the camp. It was nice. Once again, I was only known for my work, was seldom appreciated and just faded into the background despite this. The other cool part was that I was liked by my campers. At least most of them.

I had good times, but it is arguable that there were many times more bad than good. I could argue that I wasted 11 summers of my life. However, I enjoyed my work. My fondest memories come from the times I spent in solitude in such a beautiful place (it was in the middle of the Catskill Mountains) and from the times when I was doing my work. I enjoyed it more than other people appreciated it. For nostalgia's sake, I do paint over the ugly parts. It's a shame really. I can get very emotional over how much I miss the place. However, when we did eventually part, it was on bad terms. This was due to the staff and not to the environment. THE CAMP, ITSELF, is not responsible, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel I can't go back.

That saddens me. I would like to go back at some point. Maybe in 10 years when I have clearly moved on. It sounds stupid that some place would have such an emotional hold on me. It's really hard to put into words. Maybe it's all about a departure from innocence.

Maybe I just don't like change.......That would be TRULY depressing.
:: J 8:54 AM [+] ::
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